Im still here. More to follow. :)

Because although I am normally Clarvoyent (sp?) i have no idea how to get in touch with anyone.  So if you know me, and want to come to my Rockin' wedding, send me your address and I will send you an invite. 



Wow.  I am updating.   Don't freak out. 

I am sure whatever loyal readers I had at one time have now all gone away. WIth planning a wedding, looking a job and a place to live, blah blah blah, whine, whine whine, I just ain't got the time.....

But the time is nearing when the semester is over...

AND I AM FREE!  (manicial laughter follows)

3 more weeks and the summer is mine and I can once again frolic among the lilies and enjoy the day the way God would have me to. 

Man, stress is a killer.

And oh my gosh, I am getting married.

And John Mark has promised to sing the hallejuah chorus all by himself.

JM, you win the "person of the day" award.    :)

Sigh.   I admit it.  I am overwhelmed.  I bit off more than I can chew.  And poor David, he's the one who gets the brunt of my stress-ness.  It's sad really, but I am beginning to measure my time here in Chattanooga from emotional breakdown to emotional breakdown.  But it's like once I finally just let that all out, I pick myself up and I am fine for the rest of the semester.  I just want to make everyone happy and unfortunately, that really isn't the cards.  If there was one thing I really want to work  on, it is not caring so much what people think and being assertive enough to stand up for myself. ( I am pretty passive unless you just yank it out of me....unless you are Jake or John Mark and for some reason, I have no problem telling them exactly what I think.)  It's funny; its not even the wedding that is really stressing me out.  It is my thesis because....

1. I am the only PSI student doing a thesis.  There is a lot of pressure for me to do well.  If I get published, then PSI will be that much closer to establishing their PH.d program.  Yeah, no pressure!
2. If I do my thesis, my chances of getting placed in Chattanooga strengthens significantly because there is only one psychologist in the whole city that is certified to supervise marriage and family therapists/LPCs and he happens to be my thesis professor. 
3. The quality of Christian research is poor to say the least.  Without good research, no one will ever take having a relationship with God as a viable therapy option.
4. On a personal level, I want to see if I can do it.  Maybe I will not necessarily choose an academic career, but I want the opportunity to turn it down.  Unless we push ourselves, we will never know what we are capable of.  I think i am capable of a lot.  It's hard to live with  that type of mentality, but it's also what keeps me growing. 

I am also taking a DSM class which requires a lot of reading.  I dont' know if anyone has picked up the DSM lately, but it isn't a fun read.  Plus, a lot of disorders are a lot alike so keeping them differentiated in your head isn't easy.   There is nothing I emjoy more than sitting around 4 hours of the day and reading stereo instructions.  Oh wait, not really. 

So anyway, that is what is going on with me.  I think I am over the worst of my crazy stressness.  I have been reading several books about how to deal with stress and theoretically, I should know how to tell other people how to deal with it, but I don't. I think all the examples they always give are really dumb.  I feel dumb doing them.  I cant tell people how to deal with stress if I don't even do it.   The best thing I have found is running.  Running helps me think.  I also like to play piano when I am stressed, but I no longer have a piano. And it's only fun to play when no one else is around. My mom offered to give me her piano when I buy a house, but that felt like stealing from her.  She loves that piano.  That would make me a bad daughter.  I DO NOT steal from my parents....unless they are not looking.  I used to steal my sisters clothes...but then she got tall and started beating me up.  So I stopped. 

So the moral of the story is...

Don't go to grad school unless you want to have no life or you like torturing family members.

The end.  :)